guess what Washington (the state, not DC)? it’s june 27. and it’s still raining. and I’ve taken the liberty, here at 5am on this rainy morning, of brewing myself some coffee and sitting on the balcony of my back porch with my computer in my lap and my dog sleeping at my feet. feeling the cold close in around me and listening to the tapping and the dripping of the rain falling endlessly from the sky. will there be sun this weekend? you wouldn’t know it from the current state of things, but having lived here all my life I’ve learned that the weather in this state can change on the drop of a dime. from dark and melancholy to happy and bright, from angry and stormy to indifferent and overcast. possibly all in one day.
sitting here in the cold and the rain running on no sleep and possessing nothing better to do does weird things to a person, though. like making them think about things, here all alone. i miss my boyfriend, and i hate feeling alone but this experience has really made me realize that i need to first and foremost love myself and feel confident in myself before another, and that i can’t lose myself because i found someone else. if anyone has ever heard the song “On the Radio” by Regina Spektor there’s a verse in the song which goes “now this is how it works: you peer inside yourself, you take the things you like, then try to love the things you took. and then you take that love you made and stick it into someone else’s heart, pumping someone else’s blood.” it’s a great song if you get a chance to listen to it. i take a lot of inspiration from music, that’s one of the amazing things about this day and age. music wherever and however you want.
sun is about up now but the rain is still falling. rain rain don’t go away, the sun can come back another day. have a wonderful day, everyone!
xoxo,
Kayla
The Paper Float 